!  Y O U   A R E   G O D  !

By
Stephen Steward

File 1 of 7



INTRODUCTION...

He seemed abundant with life, almost glowing. His manner of speech was quiet, yet alive. He was tall, slim and very agile, his eyes were like little sparks. His grey beard was long and locks of white hair were resting on his collar. His face and hands were sunburnt, his nose was peeling, new skin grew underneath.

The first time he spoke, his face was all smiles, yet he wasn't smiling. You had to be there, see him and hear him. His words were not really words, but music in syllables. Listening to his voice was pure entrancement and not to hear him was impossible. He sure was beautiful and I liked him instantly!

I had just arrived at the airport. My flight from New York had been delayed and I had missed my plane going home. I was annoyed, a six hour delay, imagine. After four weeks of assignments in Europe, a man had the right to be home for a week. I am a reporter for a large newspaper in New York and I have traveled to just about every place in the world. So here I was, stuck at the airport. My holidays shortened by six hours and maybe even more. Who knows? I phoned home and told my wife Karyn of my delay. "Well, honey," she said, "the time does not really matter, as long as you come home, we'll be here and love you".

It was summer and the four of us were going camping, boating and mountain climbing. Being off for a week was a relief already, let alone a week in the wilderness. The kids were just elated when we told them.

While I was on the phone to Karyn, I became aware that somebody was watching me. When I put the phone down and turned my head... there he was! An old man. And then he spoke to me. "Why don't you sit down for a while my friend and we'll chat a bit. I like to chat. Tell you what, you pick the subject and we'll talk about it. I can talk about anything. Well... what do you say?" I told him that my work was talking and that I had spoken to just about everybody but God. He smiled and smiled, but never said a word. Then I asked him why he was smiling and he said. "Well, my friend, you are talking to God right now! So, why don't you sit down and keep me company. God doesn't mind." Then he smiled again.

His face was full of playfulness, yet sincere. Before I knew it, I sat down beside him and became a different person. I started to ask questions about God. As a matter of fact, I was full of questions, they just came tumbling out. It seemed as if I wasn't even there, yet I could hear myself speak. His answers were most surprising and it seemed as if he drew his words from the very source of wisdom and poured them into your ears. This man knew everything about God. Who the hell was this man?

Completely flabbergasted, I switched on my recorder. And if you ever read this book, you will know what we talked about. A discussion like the one I had with this old man, well... they are very rare. It all seemed like a dream...

He never told me his name, I never told him mine. Somehow it didn't matter, we knew each other anyway. We talked for hours and before I left, I asked him, if I could type out what we had talked about. "My friend", he replied, "do what you feel like. For what you've got on your machine, is fit to be heard by the world. You can even print it if you like. Here, take these poems and put them in the book, they fit anyplace". He pulled a few sheets of paper from his pocket and gave them to me. "These poems are pure inspiration", he said, "read them often... and by the way; thank you for your participation. Without you, the tapes on your machine would be empty. Have a good time with your family and look me up sometime. This is my airport, I'm always here."

I shook hands with him, almost embraced him. He towered over me and his eyes were moist, he almost cried. He whispered, "I love you." It seemed as if I had known him for years, yet I felt embarrassed and awkward. It felt good to be with him and I was sad to leave. I still felt entranced and I never thanked him for our discussion. I left him there, all alone, no luggage, not even a cane. I knew that I would see him again. Yes, I'm sure of it.

I often wonder about this old man... what a beautiful person. His smiles were miracles and every time I go through his airport, I look for him. I haven't seen him since, but then, I only had minutes to look for him. Someday I'll meet him for sure, I know it. To see him again is worth any delay. And the next time we meet, I will give him his book. It has been printed in the same free style as his poems. Yah, the book.... Is it really his? Well it certainly isn't mine. I really don't know whose book it is. It's anonymous for now...

Stephen Steward






     You know Sir... now that I sit beside you...
                I feel like a completely different person...
            and somehow my mind seems to be full of questions...
                              well... anyway... here is the first one.

             Please tell me what God is... and what God wants?

                               - - - - - - -


     Well... listen very carefully...
                    for once you understand the answer...
                                    all your questions will disappear.

          First of all...
              here is the last part of your question...
                                   - What is it that God wants? -

          God my friend...
               God does not want anything.
                      God is not a Wanter... God is a Waiter.

                                 God is a Wantless Waiter...
                                                  and a Master Server.

     Yet.... God is The Absolute... The Only Power.

               God is the Power...
                     that pervades and sustains All There Is.

            God however does not rule or control... God reigns.
                    God reigns... as the Master Server.

                            God... just... IS.

                    God is... and there is only God.
                                       God is ALL there is.

                               - - - - - - -


     Well Sir... if there is only God...
                             what then am I?
                                      You speak in riddles.

                               - - - - - - -


     You my friend... You Are God.

             You only think that you are not.
                      You think that you are but yourself.
                                                 And that is Nonsense.

     It is because of your very thinking...
                                  that you have created...
                   a Self in Thoughtform... or... an Illusionary Self.

                       This Illusionary Self... thinks it is you.

     This Self in Thoughtform... or Illusionary Self...
          reinforces the illusion that you are separate and apart
                             from what God is.

                          This is utter Nonsense.

     You might even think...
             that you are a part of God...
                    or a very obedient Servant of God.
                                      All this is the Purest Nonsense.

            You Are God.
                   Totally.... Body... Mind... and Soul.
                                  Including your deepest thought.

                               - - - - - - -


     Well really sir... if I am God...
                  what the heck am I doing here on earth?
                                      You sound kind of... ridiculous.

                               - - - - - - -


     Well my friend...
               the fact that you do not know...
                       what God is... and what God wants...
                               is the reason... that you are on earth.

     This earth is the very place...
                  where you are supposed to find out...
                                 what you... and God... are all about.

     Up to now however...
                  you have been muddling around...
                           within the limits of your own created mind.

            On top of that... this self created mind of yours...
                 is not really yours at all... it's God's.

     You exist... within the Mind of God...
                         - as an Illusionary Self -
                    which keeps you completely confused.

     And since you are...
              a well established personality...
                     and think that you are somebody...
      you will have quite the task... to lose what you think you are.

                     Until you lose yourself in God...
             you will always be... only... an Illusionary Self.

     You might even think that God and you are friends...
       and that the two of you... have some kind of dual relationship
                         but this... just isn't so.
                     You.... and God.... are the SAME.

                               - - - - - - -


     If I am muddling around within my own mind Sir...
                                 and my mind is really God's Mind...
                              why doesn't God speak up... and tell me?

                               - - - - - - -


     God my friend.... is an Impersonal Force...
                            and this Force will never speak.
                                     This God Force is forever silent.

                You are the One... who is supposed to speak.
                   You... are this God Force Personified.

                               - - - - - - -


     Somehow Sir... the God Person I am... must be real dumb.
                 Why doesn't this God I am supposed to be... speak up?

                               - - - - - - -


     Well... the God you are is in a State of Delusion.
                This State of Delusion... is the State of being Human.
                            You think that you are Human...
                          and since you think so... you are.

     You as God... have limited yourself... by becoming a Human Being.
             You... as an Illusionary Self...
                     have become so accustomed to this...
                                  that you don't know any better.

               That's why the God you are... is so silent.
                   However... you Are... The Speaker.

     The Speaker you are... is temporarily paralyzed...
                         by the Illusionary Self and its limited mind.

                      The God you are is almost dead.
                   That's why this God does not speak up.

                               - - - - - - -


     Do you mean Sir...
                that the God within me...
                               should speak up to the real me?

                               - - - - - - -


     The real you my friend... is God.

                   While you... the Illusionary Self...
                                      is what you think you are.

     So... to answer your question...
          yes... the God you are... the Barely Alive God Within...
                            should speak to the one you think you are.

          However... it should not just speak... it should shout.
                        Command this God to scream.
                              It's high time.

     This God however... only can be heard or felt...
              when you are not busy... or are not thinking.
                         Only then can you hear or feel its Aliveness.
                             Basically this God speaks in Feelings.

              So.... quit your thinking... and start feeling.
          Start feeling with your heart... that's where God lives.

                               - - - - - - -


     Well...  you know sir...
              to start feeling might not be that difficult...
                         but to quit my thinking...
                  boy... oh boy... that seems impossible.

                               - - - - - - -


     Nothing is impossible my friend.
             For you as God... are... all possibilities.
                                          Including your not thinking.

             Not to think... is the State of the Art... of God.
                            God never thinks...
                      yet God is healthy... and grows.

                               - - - - - - -


     What do you mean sir... God grows?
             Isn't God Infinite and Eternal and Steady?
                            Isn't God the Total of All There Is?

                  How could All There Is... become bigger?
                            How could God grow?

     Well now my friend...
                 God is the Living Womb of Ideas...
                             out of which ALL ideas are born.

           And since there is no limit to the amount of ideas...
                                         one could say that God grows.

     The growth of God however...
             is a pretty complicated subject.
                     Yet... all you have to do... is look at yourself.
                                 Or look at your children.

     Everybody... and everything that lives grows.
          And people for example... grow physically... mentally...
                        emotionally... and some even grow Spiritually.

               So... since people are God...
                                I would say that God grows.
                                                         Wouldn't you?

                               - - - - - - -


     You know... Sir...
            that I am God... is still a problem to me.
                        I think it is absolutely preposterous.
                                            It's absurd and hilarious.

               Sir... are you on drugs... do you do stuff...?

                               - - - - - - -


     My dear friend... forgive me for laughing.
                 For drugs to me... are about as far out...
                                               as being God is to you.

     Anyway... thank you for asking.
                     The only drug I am on...
                                is the drug of Grace... or Joyfulness.

                It is produced automatically in the body...
                        when you start to realize...
                the Greatness of the God... you really are.

     Also... it makes me feel good...
             when I find an open mind... to listen to my Truth.

                         You see... I love to talk.
                 And Love produces... Gracefulness and Joy.

     You see... your problem...
           is the same problem many people have...
                                   they cannot see or accept...
                         that they are the very Force of the Universe.
                                      They think too much.

     Forget about thinking.
             Thinking will never solve anything... anywhere.
                                                  Feeling is the Clue.

                         You are a Feeling Being...
                     you are a Feeling... alive as God.

     And at this particular moment...
             within the Plane of Time and Space...
                          you are an Individuated Consciousness.

             An Individuated Consciousness...
                      is a Feeling Being... or a God Being...
                                  that has individuated itself as God.
                                        Personified itself as God.

         You are a specific Consciousness... with a Personal Slant.

     The slant you have... is so bad however...
              that you think and feel... to be other than God.
                                                  Which is ridiculous.

        All in All... you are a Human Being... who thinks too much.
              Your question now is... how do I change myself?

     The answer is...
            to try to unite your Individual Consciousness...
                           with the Universal Consciousness... or God.

         Well excuse me...
               I should not have used the word unite here.

                          You are united already.

                        All you have to do... is...
                     become aware... to the fullest...
           that you are united already... and are the Same Being.

        So changing yourself... amounts to... nothing but waking up.

                          To do that is your task.

                               - - - - - - -


     How do I start to do that Sir?
               How do I start to wake up...
                     when I already know... that I'm wide awake?
                                                         What do I do?

                               - - - - - - -

     Well... my friend... oddly enough...
                    you should do as little as possible.
               It sounds crazy... but that is the way it is.

     The little to be done however...
                has to be chosen very carefully.
                        For it is easy to go off on a tangent...
                               and get lost in the Puzzle of the Self.

           All I could tell you... is...
                   to Consciously Self-Develop Yourself.

     While you are doing that...
              take into consideration that you are being lived by God.
                         God does the Living... not You.
                             You only think you do.

                               - - - - - - -


     Well... Sir... all I can say is...
            I never should have asked the first question.
                    It certainly got me into a lot of trouble.
                                                 You confuse me a lot.

                      You're worse than a Politician.

     And you know... I'm lost for words...
                    and that has never happened before.
                 Not only that... I'm kind of lost myself.
                              Lost in the Puzzle of the Self... maybe?
                                       Whatever that is...?

                               - - - - - - -


     The Puzzle of the Self... well...
                         the Puzzle of the Self...
                      is a God in search of its Home.

            It means that you feel... that something is missing.

     You feel... that somewhere... you're missing out...
                 your thinking however... cannot find it or solve it.

           Yet... you know that you are supposed to discover it.

     What you are looking for... you don't really know...
                                           but you are looking anyway.

                           As a matter of fact...
                  everybody is looking for the same thing.
              All of us however... are looking somewhere else.

     Anyway my friend...
             if you have that feeling of being lost sometimes...
                         you are on your way Home.

     Which means that finally... you have come to the point...
           where the Inner Self... starts to awaken and break through.
                    The God You Are... is making Noises.

             And don't you deny it... by keeping yourself busy.
          Listen to the Inner Voice... for it is calling you Home.

                               - - - - - - -


     Right now Sir... going home for me...
                         is to wait for the right plane and get on it.
                                That's the only home I know of.

     However... I'm sure...
              that that is not the home you're talking about.

     You know... Sir... you sure puzzle me... a lot.
                    You sound crazy... and yet you are sane.
                            You're the opposite of a Politician.
                                     They sound sane... but are crazy.

              Anyway Sir... I think I know what home you mean.
                         You mean Heaven... or God.

     You see... if I am God... like you say I am...
                     where is this Home you're talking about?
                                If I am God... I must be Home already.

             If I am God... why am I here?
                     If I am God... how come I suffer sometimes.
                                        God doesn't suffer... does he?

     And then... if God is a Wantless Waiter or a Master Server...
             who then created all the Stars... Galaxies... and People?
                           Where does the Earth come from?

          Who created Animals... and Flowers... who created Life?

     Sir... to say that I am God... is crazy.
          I never created anything in my entire life.
                 I am a created Being myself... some Force created me.
                                 I didn't do it.

     You know... I think you're fooling me...
             please tell me the truth... not some fairy tales.

             Really Sir... I have to get it out...
                                       are you of this world?

                        How long have you been here?

                               - - - - - - -


     First of all my friend...
             thank you for speaking so freely and openly.
                     By all means tell me what you feel inside.
                                                        Don't hide it.

      And then... well... to answer all your questions... takes time.
                         Stick around for a while.

     So... here we go...
        I am not a crackpot or a nut... and I never speak malarkey.
            I am an ordinary God in Human Form... and I am Free.
                     I love to talk and share my Truth.


     You ask me... to tell you the Truth...
                  but somehow... you do not really like it...
                                          you cannot see or accept it.

               What I tell you... makes you feel ill at ease.

                               - - - - - - -


     I don't know Sir...
             I sort of feel that you are wise alright...
                     but I still think... that you are... well...
                                      Your words throw me off balance.

                       It makes me feel funny inside.

                               - - - - - - -

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