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To One and All... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The poems in the following * POEMS12.HTM * file have been arranged in the order they have been written. The depth and nature of the poems therefore indicate the changes the author experienced during the time they were produced. There are more than 540 poems and the quality between the first ones and the last ones is remarkable! Many of the poems practically wrote themselves and all I had to do was sit still long enough for them to come through. At the time I was totally amazed where they all came from. Often I thought that I had become that good all of a sudden. This naturally is not so, for all I did was function as an instrument or channel of the Soul I really am. I hope that many of these poems speak to the Soul you are, and if so; they really come from you! The poems in all their "simplicity and profoundness" form a course in metaphysics just by themselves. It is possible therefore to go through them one by one, and learn more than by reading a stack of books. The poems in these files are aspects of my Higher Self and with great pleasure do I hereby dedicate them: - To the World of Man and his Infinite Endeavours - Only because of the steady performance of my Benefactors have my poems been realized. Humbly I acknowledge the great changes and growth that took place within me in the years 1979 to 1984. Sincerely yours, Gerardus Everardus Tros -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- I SO DESIRE ~~~~~~~~~~~ With the Ease of Gods... I Love You. And with the Cunningness of Devils... I scheme. Scheme to be your Lover and yet be free. To be the One I am in Freedom. Without the Choice of Loving. Without the Pain I am. And as sure as I love your Beauty... within the Me I am I suffer Sadness... for the You that I am not. While what I am and am not tears at the Freedom I search to find. In Choicelessness. Yet Loving You... Yet leaving You be. In Freedom. The very Freedom... I so desire. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12249-1981 NOT KNOWN AS YET ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Within the Me I am... within the Life I know I am but Tears. Tears for the Brilliance I am... and Tears for the Me that's missing. While through the Love I know I find my Path to Living. By knowing what I am in You By knowing You in Me so deeply. The Understanding and Sameness I see in You is the Acceptance of Myself. By Tears of knowing Love. By Tears of knowing Life. To be lived in the Sharing of One Another in the Silence of being Us. With the Pleasure of feeling Each Other in the Peacefulness of Stillness. With Tears that smile. With Tears that hunger for Tears not known as yet. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12250-1981 CALLED... WISDOM ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ YOU... who has known Love so little... must then be Wisdom. To still yet be... the Way You are. While in the Deepness of your Being... you knew... the Way You were... but could not give. For Giving needs Acceptance. And to accept what's given... needs the Depth of the Giver. But YOU... who has known Love so little - will bloom - when your Gift is received to the Measure of the Soul that gives. While the Pleasure... of Giving and Receiving is the same and equal to Knowing Self in Others called... Wisdom. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12251-1981 WITH HANDS THAT LOVE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To sit on the Floor so Cozily resting my Hands in your Lap... while being touched by Loving Hands... is Being. And nothing in the World can be more Pleasant or Better. For to feel at Peace... to feel the Unity of Two... is Godness. And this you give to me. The Feeling of just Being... Being God... in Being. While when your Hands... so lovingly touch my Face your Caresses... project my Godness into Divine Pleasure. By being touched... with Hands that Love. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12252-1981 IT'S HEAVEN ~~~~~~~~~~~ To be in Love... and therefore Headless is Beautiful... and Crazy. While to be Crazy is the most satisfying State of Mind to be in. For Craziness is Heaven... and Heaven is Craziness. While being Headless... means... to feel with the Heart. And that is the Way to Be. For Feeling... beats... Thinking anytime. And to Feel... is TO BE. While to Think... is to Scheme. So lose your Head... and be a Feeling Heart. And Crazy. It's Heaven. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12253-1981 TO THE GOD YOU ARE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh yes my Love... to Realize what you are... and 'that' you are... a Being Beautiful... actualizes You as such. For you are... Splendid in Uniqueness Magnificent in Beauty and Marvelous in Divinity. And YOU... yes YOU alone are the Maker of YOU. By the Thoughts you entertain... and by the Realization of your Greatness. For the Realization of 'what' you are - determines - your Greatness in Being. While your Opinion... yes your Opinion alone... is the one that counts. And none other... is worth one iota... to the God you are. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12254-1981 WITH BLUENESS ME ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the Background... of being Silent Is the Music... of Pleasant You. With the Sounds and Sights... of Love and Living Teasing Mind... of Stillness Blue. Reminding Sense and Inner Feeling of the Hands that move and do. Of the Lovely Soft Caresses I will feel when time is due. But to wait and think... is too damn tearing on the Mind... that dares the Daring. So I kill... my Thoughts so Free... and be alone... with Blueness Me. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12255-1981 IN ADORATION OF YOUR BEING ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To find the Lady... to find the Woman... to find the Mother... of the Universe... is my Endeavour. And because of my Seeking... and all my Searching... I have seen her Face. Watching her very Child. Bewildered in his Search... confused by his so Trying. So please... dear Goddess... make your Face but smile. So that I can cease my Search... by the Charm of your Lips that speak to the Universe of which I am a Child... in Adoration of your Being. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12256-1981 YOU ARE TO ME ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I do not want the Lady I do not want the Woman I do not want the Mother but I want YOU. For YOU are All of Them united in One Being. Wondering what to do and wondering what to leave out. For the Puzzle you are... is puzzling. To do or don't... to leave or love or just but smile. But whatever it is my Love... it is alright. For I do love You... and understand... the Puzzle you are. To Yourself... and to all the Feelings... YOU are to ME. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12257-1981 AS GODS BUT KNOW ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Completeness to be found in the Beauty of Souls I have found in You. Vanishing the Man I was... to become a God. For by the Sharing of your Beauty the God in hiding became the Love I am. Projecting Love to You... in Freedom. Freedom to Love... Freedom to Leave the Me I am. For I will be... but Me in Godness... and completed in Completeness. With the Pureness... of the Love of Gods. So be in Freedom... the You to Be. In loving... or in leaving... the God I am. And find Yourself in Freedom... sustained by the Pureness of Love... as Gods but know. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12258-1981 BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Love and Closeness... I do know... receives my Love with Coolness. Like a Rose without its Colour. Like a Day without its Light. Like a Man without his Godness. And yet I keep on Loving. For She is Me inside and does not know. Why... oh why... my Closeness? And what have I done wrong... by Loving You... to be unanswered? Yet... never Love Me... just to please. Never Love Me... because You are You. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12259-1981 LOVING YOU ~~~~~~~~~~ But who then am I? I... who have known Love so little. Who then am I... to tell you... that I Love you? While the more I admit that I Love you the less completed I am in Selfness. The less I am a God. And that is the Sadness within Me. To be in Love with You... and Love You while knowing Love so little. But yet... it is what I need to be... to be the Me I am. A Lover... Loving You. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12260-1981 THAT MAKES ME GOD ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When One is but Distraction... 'SEX' my Dear... is the Distraction While 'sex' is the attempting Fulfillment of being God but for a moment. But what can One do... when One is but distracted... by the Distraction One is? A Sexual Being. Uncompleted within Oneself. Searching for... what One is not. To really never find but for a Second in Trance of Godness. Oh why am I... this so Longing Distraction... for the Touch of You that makes Me God but for a Second? Oh why am I... so longing for the Touch... that makes Me God? -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12261-1981 IN BEING LOVE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To live in Choicelessness to live without the Love I need to live without the Love I need to give... is Godness. To live in Choicelessness... would be living without Pain would be living without Suffering. And to be 'that' way... is to be completed. Completed to a Totality that is LOVE... LOVE itself. And I would be IT. A GOD... sufficient unto Itself... in Being LOVE. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12262-1981 NOT LESS ~~~~~~~~ The Rose... the Rose betrayed my Meaning. Its Colours turning pale. For in my Hand... I stood there. There was too much Detail. But yet... she thought it Thoughtful. To bring a Rose... so pale. And slyly she admitted... it is the First. But yet... to no avail. I felt Pain and Terror... to know her Life that past. While awkwardly and clumsy I had shown my Love at last. And in this Man... this Feeling Mess... to know all this... I love her more... Not Less. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12263-1981 TO FIND THE TOTAL ME ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am this Hunk of Energy. But Sex she finds Taboo. I am this Bulk of Power. And Sex... alright... but Who? For if the Love I love... is Coolness towards the Total Me. Where is the Darling Darling... the Woman I should see? To be the Earth to Me. Am I then God already? Or just a bloody Saint? While the Love I love is Coolness and Sex to her I ain't. Where do I lay for Comfort... where do I turn to plea... where is the Earth so needed... to find the Total Me? -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12264-1981 WITHIN THE MULTITUDE SHE IS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What she is not... I know not. And what she is... I know. I know she is a Lady. I know she is a Woman. And I know she is a Mother of Man. And all 'three' of them in ONE. Being the most Beautiful Trio that is Single. And I have ever known. A Splendid Person... and Beautiful and Warm. A God in Human Form. But what she is not... I know not. And 'that' is what I want to know. For she is... or is not... a Lover... of this man... so ignorant of her Totality in Being... within the Multitude she is. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12265-1981 TO THE BEAUTY I DO SEE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bless you Love in your Endeavour... to be Your Way to be. Bless you... in the YOU so trying... of the YOU... I see in Me. Bless you Love... for being Beautiful. And bless you... for all the things I see. For in all the things that you do total... and are the Maker and Possessor of I see your Beauty and Warmth in Loving... the World you are and see... including Me. And if you were... but 'one' bit different... I could not possibly be... the Me in Loving all the Things you Total... to the Beauty I do see. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12266-1981 IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I love... our being together... within the Unity of our Souls. I love... our being together... with the Sharing of our Minds. But I desire... The Embracing Coupling... of the Parts that are the Earth. For the Total of our Totality can only be completed by the Unification of our Total Beingness as Man. In being the Gods we are. By being Each Other... to Each Other completely. By being Soul... Mind... and Body in the Unifying Trinity of Oneness. For the Unity of Souls... and the Sharing of Minds can never... make us Total as Man. Or make us feel... the Universe we are. The Universe... or God in Total... as the Creator of Love... In Heaven... and on Earth. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12267-1981 BECAUSE WE ARE BUT MAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the Closeness that is... by the Sameness of the Souls we are... I cannot move for being. For I am Rest in Peacefulness. And completed in Divineness of being Me by knowing You. In an Understanding... and Feeling... of what You feel for Me of Me... and in Me. Yet... I am Motion. Motion of Mind in Terror. Motion of Feeling in Pain. For the Closeness we are in Soulness is translated in Distance of Time and Space. Because we are but Man. And while our Souls unite in Oneness feeling the Miles of Space as Godness we are but Distance. Removed by Time and Terror and by the Pain of being Us. Souls in Oneness... feeling Godness. Lovers in Aloneness... feeling Pain. Because we are but Man. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- AND I IN YOU ~~~~~~~~~~~~ If You love Me... You are lost where You are. While if You would be here... You would be there too often. So stay... and suffer the Pain I am. For being You... is being Me... while being neither. Searching for the Peace of Mind... I am for You. Lost within the Thoughts You are... of being Me. And the Thoughts in Words we are... tell Me... that to say anything is nothing... while to say nothing is All. But yet I speak. For this 'Nothing' that is 'All' is Silence... is Death. And equal to being Me... without the Life You are... in Me. And I in You. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12269-1981 OR SLOWLY... SLOWLY DIE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A fleeting Kiss... too light in touch is all we shared between. A Hand we held... A Glance in Dance... A Loving Pure and Preen. But the Effect.... The things we knew... are Memory too Clear. For the 'knowing' of the One in Two... gave us the Godness Sphere. A Love in Substance... so Pure Divine... to never match an Eye. For it was feeling Self in Self... of neither You nor I. It was the Sense of Soul to Soul... formed by the Eons past. To smile in Inner Beingness... for Ages yet to last. While Time and Space will pass on by... to make us hunger... for this Love... or slowly... slowly Die. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12270-1981 THROUGH LISTENING WITH HEART ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Poems... are my Children... all Beautiful and Mine. But they are not my Mind in Words... but my Heart in Feelings. For from the Heart I am flows the Stream of Feelings... expressing the Inner Being. The Feelings that are the Me I am. In Depth of Love... The Goodness in Giving... The Soul I am in Solitude. While the Words that are Mine are but the Medium I use to show the Feelings of the Heart... and the Sincerity of Soul. So Listen... Listen with Your Heart. For to Minds I cannot speak... neither in Words... nor in Feelings. Yes Listen with Your Heart. For the Heart is YOU. The Feeler of Feelings... the Life You are. Eternal. By Feelings that have become YOU... through listening with Heart. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12271-1981 TO LEARN THE LIMITS OF ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh yes... the Children. How I do love them. I love them with Feelings I can't express in Words. For they are Tenderness in Loving Sense and Love... oh yes... so Tender. Oh... how I love the Children. For they are me and much more. They are... the Future Parents of Ourselves. The Future Souls that teach us of Godness in Time yet to come. And.... the Wisdom I see in their Eyes... put me to shame... and rush me back to learning. For the Souls that are hidden... behind the Smiles they are in Wisdom... tell me that they know Me. They cannot make Me understand... because of the Ignorance I am and feel within. Oh... how I love the Children and their Souls that know and dwell upon Planes beyond this Earth... of which I try... to learn the Limits of. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12272-1981 BECAUSE OF YOUR NEARNESS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I miss and need... - the Peace I am - in the Nearness of You. For then... the Sphere we are... feeds me the Tranquility so sadly needed to survive the Inner Storm I am... alone. So please receive me and let me be the Storm at rest. Within the Peacefulness we are because of You. Yes... please receive me and let me enjoy the Pleasure from the Source of Serenity... You are. Listening to a Storm in Stillness. Listening to the Words and Feelings... of the Thoughts and Heart of the One so needing You. To be... - the Peace I am - because of Your Nearness. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12273-1981 OF ME AND MY ALONENESS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Silence... between Me and my Aloneness... is deafening. For the Sound of Stillness is torn by Terror gone insane killing Me with the Thoughts I am alone. So my Love... by the Source of Peace... You are to Me... by being You. And soothe my Mind... with Music of your Pleasantness. For your Voice... your Vibration of Selfness... your Movements of Gracefulness bring Serenity to the Soul I am in Terror... and tranquilize the Self I am. But too rare... too very seldom am I at Rest enough to call and be the One I should be. Admitting my Helplessness... in needing You. To be the Music... playing my Soul to Peace. It should be... without You. In being Me alone. Without the Terror... without the Pain... of Me and my Aloneness. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12274-1981 I DID NOT KNOW ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How Beautiful You are... how much I love You... I cannot ever tell or show. For the Feelings my Dear... the Feelings You are within Me... are Speechless. Neither Words... not Tears... are sufficient to show... the Feelings I am in Loving You. While all the Words... and all my Poems... are but Smiles on Surface... of the Self I am... in Deepness. For You... You've touched in Me... the Depth of Being. You've touched in Me... the God in Man. You've touched in Me... the Life I am... and did not know I was. Please be and stay... the Way You Are in Living. Please be and stay... the Way You Are in Loving. Be and Stay... the Beauty of the Life in Me... I did not know. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12275-1981 SO MARVELOUS TO FEEL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh yes... my Love... come to me and embrace me. Come to me and share your Energies... and the Vivaciousness you are. Come and share the Energies of Loving Fire. Come and share... the Energies of being You... so splendidly. Yes... shower me... with the Marvelous Feelings of the You I need to find my Life worth living. And I will share with you... the Calmness of the me I am in loving you. The Calmness of the Self at Rest by being near... to share Ourselves in Unison of Loving. The Loving... that neither You nor I have ever known in Sharing. A Sharing of Bubbling Rest in Loving... of Vivaciousness and Calmness. So Marvelous to Feel. -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=- 12276-1980