Nico Nuthouse Here:

Hello Corpse! I'm Nico Nuthouse. Guess what? Yesterday I met a Spook. A real one! He did not scare me a bit. He was harmless, and lost. He asked me, where is the spook-house. I told him, you're looking at the wrong house. I'm a Nuthouse! Glad to know you. Just call me Nico. He said I will, Nico. And now tell me, Nico, and don't put me on, where is the toilet? He shocked me a bit. I said, I didn't know that spooks needed to go. Well, he said, neither did I. But I feel the urge, I want to find out. Somehow, the spook did not make sense to me. After all, if you are a spook you should at least know whether or not you can toilet or not. Anyway, I told him where the public-reliever was. And then he said, Nico, you better come with me. This Nuthouse-Place is weird! I can't find anything in this place. What's wrong with it? Everybody is hurry-like, and does not go nowhere. How come? I told him, get used to it spook, it's been this way since the beginning of time. It's supposed to improve, but somehow it doesn't. And then, I stuck out my arm, and he grabbed it. I could not feel him one bit. I said, are you holding on. Yes he said, but you feel empty, as if you are the spook. I said, well maybe I am, who knows? The world is funny nowadays.

Somehow, we got to the 'reliever' and he went in. I waited for about ten minutes and he came out. Kind of painful. I said what happened. He looked at me, and had a spooky smirk on the bottom of his face, and the top half was crying. I said, now what? And then his whole face was crying. He cried like a baby, and his body shook like a rattle. And then he fell in my arms, and I felt nothing but emptiness, mingled with tingling. I was really touched by his rattling and crying. And then he said, I couldn't go one drop. How come? I sure feel urges. But they are as dry as a bone. How come Nico? How come? I looked at him, and then I knew what to do. I started to love him. More and more. And my inner-heartness almost emptied to the bottom. And you know what? He started to laugh out loud. And could talk again. He said, do you suppose that all this urging was just only in my mind? I told him, I didn't really know, but that I knew a guy who would know for sure. And I meant Hank.

Anyway, I talked to him some more, and all of a sudden I had to go. Real bad! So I went in, and he was right beside me. I showed him how. Finally he remembered how to relieve, and did the same thing. Imagine, me showing a spook how to relieve. Anyway, we were happy like the angels in my old church-book and danced like mating peacocks. I asked him, how come he was a spook, and I wasn't. Well, he said, I don't know why and how you are you, but I know that somebody killed me in a faraway land, called Arabia- Galore. This land used to be full of oil, but now it is so full of money that nobody knows what to do with it. It's like a pest! Anyway, there was a fight, and some guy put a bullet in my knocker. It killed me dead, and here I am. Spooky, but not dead, because I talk to you. But why I can see you, I don't know. There are not too many people I can see, but I can see you. And you can see me. But all the other corpses can't see me one bit. What's wrong with them?

I told him, that there is nothing wrong with anybody, and that all of us are different by far. He agreed! But yet, he said, where is the spook-house. I want to go there, because I am a spook now. I asked him, if you are a spook, where is your white sheet? That baffled him lots. And almost he started to cry again, but my inner-heartness was still powerful enough to perk him up. Finally, he said to me, I see someone that has come to help me. It is a 'she' and beautiful! She's plenty-glorious and bright. She smiles at me, and tells me that she is my teacher and guide. I can do nothing else but believe him, for he is dead on. I see her too, and I guess, just for the hell of it, she asked me to come along, if I wanted to. I said I didn't one bit as yet, for right now, I am a mighty important scribbler and have a job to do. Which is producing 'gumbo' for these Blokes at "Introvisionary Copying". She said, yes I know about it, but I thought I ask you anyway. I told her, that although she's beautiful, she should not distract other people from doing their job, the way they should. She nodded her head and told me, Nico, stand firm, because I'm going to give you all the Cosmically-Magnatronic-Energy, as much as you can stand. I told her that I was ready. And then she did it! It blasted me so powerfully, that my heart was charged to burstens-full and I cried for happiness and goodness. And before I knew it, she and the spook were gone.

Anyway, after all this, I look around me and I am standing in the middle of the street with cars on all sides around me, honking. One guy came out, and put me on the sidewalk. I was mighty obliged and gave him a bit of the stuff the Lady gave me. He looked good with it on his heart-strings, and smiled at me. I love him. All this happened yesterday, and today I'm telling the publisher about it. For I wanted to sleep on it first. After all, a guy doesn't want to make a fool of himself. So there! I'm Nico Nuthouse, and I'm burstens-full of the Light and inner heartness the Lady gave me for helping a spook to relieve himself.