~ A Sociological Comparison of How Relationships can work ~
Each column is a "package deal",
in that each relationship usually functions in terms of most of the characteristics
of the 3rd dimensional version or the 4th dimensional version, rather than a combination of both versions.
| 3-D 3rd-Dimensional Relationships The way relationships normally work with us here in our 3rd dimension. |
4-D 4th-Dimensional Relationships The way relationships normally work on the 4th dimension. |
| SEPARATION Separation is only an illusion. Separation from the God Source. Separation from each other. And separation from aspects of our self. |
INTEGRATION + REINTEGRATION Everything and everyone are really all connected. |
| SECRECY Witholding information from my partner & from myself. With secrecy, my partner never gets to know who I truly am. Keeps me separated from the greater portion of myself. |
HONESTY + OPENNESS Total honesty with my partner. With honesty, my partner gets to know who I truly am. Honesty means being 100% who I truly am. I do not withold a comment or information just to avoid hurting my partner, or to control the relationship. I can never really know or predict what will hurt another or how they will react to my honesty. Therefore, I should stop assuming responsibility for the other person's emotions, growth, & reactions to my honest non-manipulative communications. |
| FEAR-BASED MONOGAMY Through my monogamous relationship, I am "separated" from the vulnerability of having to deal with any other relationships. Therefore, I feel "safe" (separate and safe). |
RELATIONSHIPS BY CHOICE Monogamy-by-choice or Polygamy-by-choice or Poly-Fidelity-by-choice. There is no inherent "right" or "wrong" to any type of relationship: They are all inherently neutral. Any type of relationship is "okay". If I choose monogamy, this does not mean that I expect or need my partner to also choose monogamy. |
| CONDITIONAL LOVE I will love you, only so long as you fulfill my needs and expectations. I will withdraw my love, if you do not satisfy me. |
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Even if you don't fulfill my needs and expectations, I will still love you. I love you for who you are without trying to change you. |
| COMMITTMENT I need committment, in order to avoid my fear of having to deal with other relationships. Committment is a 3rd-dimensional illusion. Committment never insures my security. Committment only makes me think or feel that I am secure. |
BEING IN THE PRESENT Committment would take me out of the present. I stay in the present, and I do not need a committment, because I trust that the future will take care of itself. |
| EXPECTATION I want, expect, and try to get my partner to fulfill my expectations and needs. I use my partner to satisfy my needs. |
NO EXPECTATIONS I trust and have no expectations from my partner. I enjoy my partner, but without expectations. |
| MANIPULATION I use obvious or hidden manipulation so that my needs will be met, and so that I can remain protected from my own fears. I only see my partner as who I need them to be, not who they really are. |
ALLOWINGNESS I allow my partner to be who they need to be. Only then can I see who they truly are. |
| THE NEED TO CONTROL I do not trust that everything that occurs is for my highest good. Therefore, I need to control and shape the relationship, so that it will take the form I wish it to be. I feel like I "own" my partner. |
ABSOLUTE TRUST |
|
RELATIONSHIP takes Precedence |
PERSONAL GROWTH takes Precedence
|
| DEPENDENCY I depend on and need someone outside of myself in order to be happy. |
SELF-SUFFICIENCY I recognize that I, and only I, am the creator of my own reality. Therefore, only I, am the generator of my own Happiness. |
| A PERSON CAN NOT FULLY LOVE MORE THAN
ONE PERSON. 3-D emphasizes Duality. If my partner begins to also love another person, that means he/she will have less love for me. (This is an illusion.) |
A PERSON CAN FULLY LOVE MORE THAN ONE PERSON. 4-D emphasizes Multiplicity. No matter how many other people my partner loves, this does not diminish at all, in any way, how much love he/she has for me. No matter how many other people I love, this does not diminish at all, in any way, how much love I have for my partner. |
| My partner spending LESS TIME with me is not good. |
My partner spending LESS TIME with me is fine. If I truly love myself unconditionally, then the time spent with myself is equal in value to the time spent with my partner. I love myself as much as I love my partner. Therefore, the time I spend alone is just as enjoyable as the time spent with my partner. Therefore, it's okay if I spend less time with my partner. |
| PAIN There is always pain when I function from the 3-D relationships "mind-set". |
HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, & ECSTACY There is never any pain, only happiness, pleasure, and ecstacy, when I function from the 4-D relationships "mind-set". |
| ENDING A RELATIONSHIP creates PAIN & LOSS. |
ENDING A RELATIONSHIP does not create PAIN & LOSS. In realizing that this relationship is no longer serving us, we choose to harmoniously end it. We recognize that the relationship is going in different directions, and so we allow it to end, without any hard feelings. Only with love. |
| FEAR or PAIN of LONELINESS Loneliness, like separation, is a 3-D illusion. |
FEELING CONNECTED to SIGNIFICANT OTHERS. Even if my partner is far away (in space), or even if I haven't seen my partner for a long time (in time), I still feel very connected to them. Whereas separation is an illusion, being actually connected-together is the reality. |
| ANGER AT ANOTHER (Externalized anger) I am angry at my partner for not meeting my needs! |
ANGER AT MYSELF (Internalized anger) I am angry at myself for creating a reality that I do not prefer. |
| VICTIMHOOD "Hurters" & "Victims" I sometimes hurt others. I am sometimes hurt by the comments or actions of others. "Hurters" & "Victims" is an illusion. There is no victimhood, since each one creates their own reality. |
I CREATE MY OWN REALITY. Self-Responsibility Self-Empowerment I create my own reality, and this even includes other people's reactions to my actions. I can never be hurt by another person. I can never hurt another person. Only I am responsible for my reactions to other people's comments or actions. |
| FEELING RESPONSIBLE for the NEEDS of my PARTNER My partner is seeking to have their needs met externally by me, but a person's needs can never really be met by anyone else, so they are bound to eventually get angry at me, for not fulfilling their needs. |
BEING RESPONSIBLE for what I would like to GIVE to My PARTNER & our RELATIONSHIP I am pure in my intention in my relationship. I am 100% who I truly am with my partner. I am responsible for what, in my integrity, I would like to give to our relationship. |
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