Nico Nuthouse Here:

Hello corpse! I'm Nico Nuthouse. I'm still alive and well, but soon I'll be where all the others are. Dead... just pure dead! Although all the others have left for the casket, they ain't dead! No hell no, they just keep living and do whatever they did before. Everyone brings his world with him when he goes. Believe you me!  As a matter of fact, every time I have come back, I don't even notice that I ever left. Yet...  Well, whatever it is. It's up to you to figure out.

Somehow you know, I have been pressured into writing. I think it's kind of stupid, but anyway, here I am, scribbling. Never in my life have I written before, because I was born yesterday. At high noon! But you know, my crazy friend Hank told me to write. Write he says, they're desperate! They are loaded with work, and desperately in need for 'gumbo'. Anyway, that's what I am doing right now, producing 'gumbo'. Hank said, they need six or seven copies full of the stuff, so why for pete's sake don't you help them out.

So here I am 'gumboing'! Hank always talks me into things. I've known this pal a long time. Ages I believe have past, and even before then I knew this crazy-nimbus. Somehow he keeps sticking around me. I wonder if he is my twin-Soul or what...

At one time in the past, I was Nero's helper. Actually I didn't do much to help him, except for one thing. I cleaned his toilets! Boy, those guys sure knew how to toilet. Paper-wipe was never heard of at that time. Everybody used crumpled-up hay. Sometimes the stuff would stick you in the dosy. It stings like big bugs. Eventually we learned to wet it in the dip-pot and it made things bearable. Boy, oh boy, what a time that was! Nero was a neat guy, he liked jokes a lot. He told me once, if it wasn't for you 'nit', life would be miserable. Often he would shout at me. Yet, in the way he shouted, I knew he liked me.

Nowadays, I have a self-occupying occupation. I chase Devils. I like it! Chasing Devils is easier than you might think. For at least in every person lives one. I see them right away. They stick out like a sore hallelujah!  Chasing Devils is a side-hobby of my Bronkle Church. The Church of The Bronkles is a most effective Church. There is no time wasted on praying or singing. All of us are busy chasing Devils. It pays us in 'fookers'. A 'fooker' is a latent blessing gone holy. They're invisible, but most effective in the life beyond the rotten stage of purification. Somehow, I do not really know what that means, but Hank says that it is harmless and slightly positive toward nihilism. Somehow it sounds pretty good.

Chasing Devils is most important to me. More important than writing for example. Hank however insisted to scribble anyway. I like this Hank. At one time he told me that I was as good as gold that was not discovered yet. The prize is unknowable and therefore better than any other shiny metal or brightness in hard form. At one time I told Hank that I was a religious fanatic. He smiled like the teeth of a grader, and then he told me that I was fired. What right he had to that I don't know. But it worked out exactly like he said. I was fired! My old Church fired me, imagine!  I think it was because of the fact that I was even more fanatic than the most fanatic member that was ever known. Somehow they could not stand superiority. Hank is a weird 'nimbus', he sort of glows!  He's like a big glow worm. He never flashes though. He's on all the time. That's what makes him so sane and seldom..

Chasing Devils is a dangerous job. They are like sharks! You chase one, and four or five come from behind. And pretty soon they are chasing you. I never do get caught however! For deep within me I have this button. When I push it, I turn invisible! To learn this was extremely difficult, but somehow I made it possible. Since I can write anything I want, I just do it. The crazier the better! Writing in a way is like chasing Devils. Devils however are more fun. Especially female Lucifers. Some Devils have still a little light in them. Dark light! By daylight it is never visible, but then you can sort of smell it. It smells not bad when you get used to it. Once you know what it is, you can't negate it. It smells like dandelions but more foppish. Some people negate the Devil by abstaining from sex. They belong to the 'chosen-folks'. Sometimes they become so 'chosen' that they bulge. Devils in these bulges are mighty powerful nitpickers. They close down on the ticker of the mind. Most people however suffer from that anyway. But since it is common, every sufferer is a good guy and absolutely normal.

I meet many corpses, most of them still move. Where they move to, nobody knows. For not anyone knows where they come from, they just move. To see them move is grinding on my powerful nerve-collector. The other day I say one move faster than a flywheel. He became a blurr. His eyes were like headlights with broken lenses. I felt inner-awkwardness for him. In any case, Dear Publisher, please read my Writing Creations. It's more than just plain good!

Note from the Chief Editor at "Introvision Copy":

We at "Introvision Copy" received the above article from Nico Nuthouse but we couldn't understand what it was all about. It made sense - as far as ridiculousness was concerned - but somehow we felt that there must be more to the article than first met the eye. So we dispatched one of our roving reporters to the residence of Nico and the following interview took place...

Q: Nico - what have you written?
A: Words that make sense to me - but might not make sense to anyone else. That is their trouble.  I can't help them!

Q: Why would you write something that might not make sense to others?
A: Who cares? I like it! That's what's important. Some people write wisdom, and others write garbage. The guy who reads it, is the one to figure it out. Most people are dead wrong about just about anything. They are patterned. They are conditioned Robots fueled by subliminal soup.

Q: Is this garbage?
A: Your paper end up in the garbage and this will not. What garbage is depends on the reader! You of all people ought to know at least that much...

Q: Is what you have written serious?
A: Definitely not! To be serious is normal!  Normality is a very bad sickness, and almost incurable!

Q: Is this article good for anything?
A: It is good for a laugh! I hope everyone reads it. Especially the saintly people. They need it most of all.

Q: Who is Hank?
A: Hank is a guy I know. I ask him Qs. Most of his answers I forget - so I make up my own!

Q: How many 'fookers' have you earned?
A: Enough to get me by the rotten stage of purification and crawl into a new body - whenever I need one or feel like it!

Q: How do you know it's a new body?
A: Well, everytime before the last time, I opened my eyes and I'm about two years old and sassy. And then the people I'm with, tell me that I was born at High Noon. Most of the time, it also happens to be on a Sunday.

Q: Are you insane Nico?
A: From your point of view I might be. However I'm completely harmless, but beyond normality! Whatever that is. The world is insane!  I like myself and have the universe in my heart. It feels good!

Q: Do you have any friends Nico?
A: Yes - mostly women. They provoke me to drive them crazy. They laugh when I talk, and I make them feel good. But I never touch them! Some of them are real pretty. The odd one is beautiful! Hank says, they are Gods in bodies. But I always forget what Hank tells me. I chase Devils and of God I know nothing! I chase Devils because they do not belong in this world. This world of ours is a fun world. But Devils have loused it up pretty good. That's why, I do something about it. With me, this is not a belief or something. I'm action!  Particularly as far as women are concerned. I make them see their funness! Women entice me a lot. Maybe Hank is right after all?

Q: Have you ever been married?
A: No I never have.Too cumbersome... it's more fun to be alone. Being alone is being free, to chase Devils.

Q: Do you believe in God?
A: No I do not believe in Gods. They are concoction of human minds. I am action chasing Devils! This, I convert into a daily activity of the first order. Belief for the sake of belief is mostly useless in my mind. But then you know - who am I? I don't think much and believe nothing for it is negative heart stuff. Heart stuff is Love!

Q: Is it possible for anyone to believe in Devils instead of God?
A: Yes, anything is possible! People's kind of Devils and Gods are products of feeble human minds. They are the same thing! The one transforms into the other, any time you want to. All are the same stuff - multiplied 'uni-dust' - that is free and runs all over the Cosmos. You can't miss it even if you wanted to. Whenever you have transformed enough of this 'uni-dust', you are a God on your own. It's easy!

Q: We have received a letter from you, in which you ask, to be a staff-writer. Do you honestly think we would take it as a serious proposition?
A: Serious proposition? Are you kidding?  Seriousness is the worst disease there is, and more fanatical than the big 'C'. Regard it as an alternative of the first degree, and with an open heart. I write more nonsense that makes sense than anybody can possibly imagine. Do what you feel like!  I write - you publish!  Life is a laugh - not a curse or saintly stuff!

Q: What do you live on?
A: Mostly air, and some pollution. Besides that, I have a legacy from my uncle. He was a 'uni-clown' and mostly talked about the "Gossip of God", and other Great Beings. He died laughing because his belly came loose. Often he speaks to me - heart wise! By no means is he 'dead'!  He is me, and I am him! We laugh a lot!

Q: Do you live by yourself?
A: Of course! Everybody lives by himself! The fact that some people think different, gets them all mixed up, causing their Inner-Nerve to collapse and disappear. It upsets the world!

Q: How old are you?
A: I'm as old as the universe and maybe older. I forgot! But for sure, I was before anybody knew it!

Q: Where were you born?
A: This time I was born behind a tree and my mother ran away as soon as she saw me. I was raised by a 'sasquatch' who had pity on me. I screamed like hell, but the 'sasquatch' didn't care. It fed me until I kept quiet!

Q: Did you ever go to school?
A: Yes I did! But not much! It was of no use. I kept laughing at all the ridiculousness I was supposed to learn.

Q: What does the future hold for you?
A: More life! More fun! More Devil chasing! More laughter!  Life is a joke!  Life is also the greatest miracle there is!

Q: Are you a sex-maniac?
A: I have the temperance of a great Soul that used to be a Saint. My energy is spent on laughter, not on sex!

Q: Do you have any relatives?
A: It is possible, but the 'sasquatch' never told me about them. I regard everybody as my brother or sister. As a matter of fact, I never have seen anybody that was not me in a different form. We're all the same thing. The universe of man! All of us have but one face. A multi-mask of meat! The eyes reflect the light!

Here's the Chief Editor again:

Anyway, we made the mistake of sending a female reporter to see Nico. That was about two weeks ago. We have not seen her since! She emailed this report to us. She told us, that this Nico speaks seventeen languages. His house is neat and clean, and his companions are two cats and a blind dog. After all, she said, Nico Nuthouse is not as weird as you might think he is. In the future we'll try to find a spot for Nico's writing, depending on how it is received by our readers. Please let us know about Nico's Writing Creations. Mention "Casket Chuckles" on your envelope. Happy reading!