Chapters from the Book
"The Outrageous Myths of Enlightenment"
By
Steven Wingate
You and Me Are the Same One: This is Love
No Separate I - No Suffering No Awakening.
Love and Intimate Relationships.
There is nothing mystical or magical about this. It is simple, logical
and applicable to everyone. This is not just for special beings who
were able to transcend their earthly fetters and rise above the lowly
egoic peasantry through years of self-sacrifice and meditation. That's
all nonsense. This is true for anyone and everyone.
These words apply to you and to me: "We are free here and now, it is
only the mind that imagines bondage. Seeing that there is no such
thing as a permanent, separate person, all becomes clear. You are the
immensity and infinity of consciousness. It is lucid, silent,
peaceful, alert, and unafraid - without desire and fear. To realize
this is the end of all seeking." ( Nisargadatta Maharaj )
These few words say it all.
Let's break them down.
1) "We are free here and now, it is only the mind that imagines bondage."
Is this true? Consider your own experience. When you are sitting
quietly, not thinking about yourself and your problems, can anything
trouble you? Can there be any bondage if you are not imagining
yourself to be bound? Of course you are free here and now!!
Nisargadatta puts it another way, too: "Nothing can trouble you but
your own imagination." There is no such thing as bondage. It is merely
a concept!
2) "Seeing that there is no such thing as a permanent, separate
person, all becomes clear."
Is this true? Look for yourself. What is the common denominator in all
of your suffering, all of your problems? What is at the center of your
life situation? What is this "me" that says, "my" life, "my" problems?
If it is seen that there is no separate me, no separate person here at
all, can there be any suffering? The me who was bound and suffering
is just imagination. Reading the words and agreeing or disagreeing is
not enough. Seeing this for yourself is the key.
3) "You are the immensity and infinity of consciousness.
It is lucid, silent, peaceful, alert, and unafraid - without desire
and fear."
If I am not the separate person I thought I was then what am I? Isn't
consciousness your essential nature? If you are not conscious can
anything else exist? Can there be a "me" and "my" story if
consciousness is not there to witness it? What is the nature of pure
consciousness? Isn't it clear, silent, peaceful, alert, unafraid? So
consciousness is what you are: not a separate person.
4) "To realize this is the end of all seeking."
For what are you seeking? Aren't you seeking for clarity, peace,
freedom from desire and fear? Aren't these the characteristics of
consciousness? You are what you are seeking! Realizing that you are
consciousness, not the separate person you imagined yourself to be,
the seeking comes to an end and you are free!
When these words are understood and known as the truth they become
your daily living experience. It's as simple as it looks. There's
nothing magical or mystical about it. There is no need for any
mystical experience of universal love and union. The understanding
brings on a simple experience of Peace and well-being that is felt
as the common ground of all your daily experiences. Happiness and
sadness, laughter and tears, anger and joy: all come and go in this
awareness of peace and well-being. Nothing to gain. Nothing to lose.
Everything is as it is.
You and Me Are the Same One: This is Love
Question: I’ve been reading about Advaita and non-duality. It’s very
clear when I read it, but in daily life it gets a bit confusing. Of
course the question is always related to ‘me’ versus ‘them’.
Stephen: Yes, of course. At the root of personal confusion, and
questions in personal relationships is the belief in the existence of
a separate me, a separate ego who has power to exercise his own will.
If there is the unexamined belief that you exist as an independent,
self-directing entity, then naturally you’ll see others as
independent, self-directing entities, too. Therein lies the potential
for personal, egoic conflicts in relationships.
Seeing there is no separate, independent entity there in you, it is
also seen there is no separate, independent entity in another.
Challenges, differences and conflicts may still arise, but they are
not experienced as personal conflicts. There is no personal me versus
a personal you; there are just conflicts arising.
You and me are both appearances of the One Mysterious Source. If
there’s conflict between you and me, it’s part of the play of the One.
You and me are the same One in essence. Seeing you and me as the same
One can be called Love.
Q: This isn’t a big deal, but it gets me wondering. Should I be
worried about how I behave in relationship with others? I’m always
thinking that I could do better than I’m doing. I should be more
giving, and say more kind words with other people. Should I
contemplate this or should I just let it work out naturally?
S: It’s already working itself out naturally. Everything is working
itself out naturally and spontaneously. You are not the source of the
kind words or of the giving. If more giving and kind words are to
happen through you, you couldn’t stop them. There’s no separate you
there to take credit for the giving or the kind words; nor to take the
blame for the lack thereof. And if there’s worrying about how one
should behave in relationship, then there’s worrying. Who can stop it?
Can a volcano stop itself from erupting? Can it take any credit or
blame?
Q: Sometimes when I’m talking to my father and he begins to talk over
me, I sense this frustration. My body starts to shake and I begin to
defend myself. But, I must admit, it has gotten better after my
realization.
S: You may notice the sense that you’re watching these frustrating
interactions with others happen rather than being a participant in
them. You are the witnessing presence of the conflict; you are not the
person involved in the conflict.
Q: Does it really matter if one doesn’t believe in the mind? Though
I’m not choosing any thoughts I could be controlled by thoughts
unconsciously.
S: Who is this ‘I’ that is controlled by thoughts? Isn’t it just
another thought? Everything is happening, no doubt, but is there an
‘I’ to whom it’s happening?
Q: My shyness troubles me sometimes because I want to be more alive in
relationship with other people. But I find myself being dull or too
simple. I’m aware that this is only based on some random thoughts in
my brain, but they keep circulating.
S: Some people are quiet and shy; others are loud and gregarious. Is
it your doing? Is one right and the other wrong? Yes, your analysis is
correct: your concerns are only based on some random thoughts
circulating in you.
Q: Should I drop all my hopes of how I want to be, or should I try
with ambition to be more alive in human relationship?
S: You can make an effort to be more outgoing and expressive in your
relationships, but there’s no need to suffer over it. If it’s causing
you to suffer, then drop it if you can. It’s not your doing in the
first place.
Q: Another example: my mother is a master at getting me worried that
I’m not giving enough to other people, and that I should visit my
brothers more often. But I don’t feel a strong motivation to do it.
Because of this, I always doubt that I understand non-duality. It’s
seems that sometimes I do understand, and sometimes I don’t.
S: Understanding non-duality is completely unrelated to the concerns
you’ve posed. Whether you’re motivated to take certain actions, or if
others are pleased with your actions, have no relation to the fact
that your essential nature is awareness, and you are not the ego.
Realizing this in your own direct experience, there is a sense of
peace and acceptance of whatever is happening. You are the witnessing
presence of all that arises. You are not the doer.
Q: This questioning of my understanding is especially apparent when
I’m around people. I get shy with people that I feel are superior to
me. It’s a silly thought, but sometimes I don’t find it effective to
just drop the thought. It seems to be deeper in me than just my
thoughts. There must be something deeper than transient thoughts that
control me.
S: Yes, there is something infinitely deeper. In fact, so much deeper
that it’s an absolute mystery. The same Mysterious Source that makes
the flowers bloom, the sun shine, and the earth turn is controlling
this puppet called Gerri.
Q: What is it that stops me from doing whatever I want? Why do I feel
shy and hesitant around some people? Why don’t I express myself
freely, and not worry about what others think? Maybe it’s just the way
my body and mind was made? Is my nature in the dual world to be shy
and insecure? Or should I just let everything be as it, even if I’m
shy to some people? In the end it’s all just thoughts, but I’ve been
living my life and believing those thoughts for some time. How am I
supposed to drop those beliefs?
S: Is Gerri in control or is everything just happening?
Q: The fact that I am simple awareness has done more good for my
mental state than any other spiritual or religious system. I now feel
this deeper connection when I’m reading all sorts of spiritual
writings. It feels odd that all these people are looking for something
that is always in front of them.
S: Yes, stop for a moment right now and just be aware of your own
existence. Do you sense this presence of awareness? There is seeing,
hearing, feeling, and thinking all happening in you. No effort is
required. You are this simple presence of awareness. Just stop again
now and be aware. This awareness that you are can also be called Love.
This Love that you are loves to laugh and it loves to cry. It loves to
win and it loves to lose. It loves to be at peace and it loves to be
at war. It loves to accept and it loves to reject. It loves to love
and it loves to hate. This awareness that you are is unconditional
Love itself. Everything that arises in it is soaked in Love. This
Love is what you are.
Q: Another concern of mine is when I’m at work and I meet all these
new people. Some people I find easy to speak with, and others I don’t.
Is it normal for a non-dualist to continue to feel uncomfortable
sensations and emotions? Should I just feel them and don’t think about
it? Sometimes the present moment is uncomfortable. Even if I’m not
consciously thinking about it, I just feel uncomfortable.
S: This puppet called Gerri along with his family, friends, and
co-workers (all puppets, too) appear in your awareness. They all do
their special dance, and then they part. Sometimes Gerri is
comfortable and sometimes he’s not. So it is.
Q: Can I be conscious of every thought I have? That just can’t be.
There must be some hidden thoughts and motives that keep causing me to
do what I’m doing.
S: Everything in existence, including all thoughts, feelings, motives,
and actions are caused by the One Mysterious Puppet Master. Gerri is a
puppet, not the Puppet Master.
Q: Well, as you can see I can be a bit doubtful. This must explain why
I feel an affinity to non-duality because I’m really good at seeing
some flaws in other systemsbe it religious or spiritual. My mind is
always looking for some flaws to think about. Will my mind change if
I stop worrying about it?
S: Gerri has no mind of his own. Thoughts appear and then they
disappear. Where is Gerri’s mind?
No Separate I No Suffering No Awakening.
Question: I need help awakening. I have several questions regarding
awakening and would be thankful for your response. I have questioned
myself time and again about whether there is a separate being here
with any independent nature, and never find any central 'I' or anyone
with control. There are just thought processes and movement of a body
occurring.
Stephen: Yes, that’s what this simple inquiry reveals: there is no
independent, separate entity; there is no central I, there is no ego
or controlling entity here. In your own direct experience all that can
be found is a body and thoughts. So it’s seen that there is no
separate person, no independent I or ego there in you. Then what are
you? What’s left? What’s always been here? What is it that is aware of
the body and thoughts that arise? Is it consciousness? Are you this
consciousness? This consciousness that you are is right here and right
now.
Stop and be aware of this consciousness right now. Stop again for a
moment, take a deep breath, and notice the presence of this
consciousness. This is what you are. Do you notice the simplicity of
this? You are this simple consciousness. This simple consciousness
that you are is already awake. This simple presence of awareness that
you are was never asleep. This consciousness that you are is the
'awakening' for which you’ve been striving. You have always been this
simple presence of awareness. Without you, this consciousness, there
can be no body, nor any thoughts. You are this witnessing presence
that is always here and now.
Now, you’ve seen in your own direct experience that there is no
independent I, no separate ego here; there’s just a body and thoughts.
So, tell me, who can awaken? Who was ever asleep? Who was suffering?
There is no separate, independent person who can suffer. There is no
separate, independent person who can awaken. There is only
consciousness.
You are this simple presence of awareness, and in you the idea of
being a separate person arose in the form of the thought 'I'. This
I-thought is the birth of the appearance of separation and the
beginning of personal suffering. Believing in the reality of your own
existence as a separate, independent 'I', suffering is inevitable.
Seeing in your own direct experience that there is no independent I,
no separate person, there can be no suffering and no awakening. The
ideas of personal suffering and awakening are based on the unexamined
belief in the existence of a separate I who can suffer, and a separate
I who can awaken. There is no separate I.
The separate I, personal suffering, and awakening are all pure
imagination. There is no I. There is no one who can suffer. There is
no one who can awaken. All there is, is this consciousness, and you
are this. Do you see this now? This simple recognition is the
resolution of all personal suffering and seeking for awakening,
liberation, and enlightenment. This is it. There’s nothing to do,
nothing to attain, nothing to avoid. This is it!
Q: In the beginning this questioning created great feelings of peace
and sometimes a feeling of blissful emptiness. It’s been a month now
since I first began. When I question my self now all I feel is stressed.
S: Drop it all. The inquiry is based on the belief in a separate I. In
your own direct experience you’ve seen there is no separate I. It is
done. The whole story of suffering and awakening falls to pieces as it
was based on a false premisean imaginary 'I'.
Q: Even though it is seen that there is no one here when the
questioning occurs, when I go about my daily life it’s forgotten. How
is this made into a permanent realization?
S: Your daily life is happening, but there’s no 'I' there who’s doing
it. Life is happening, but to no one. This is not a conceptual
understanding that can be remembered or forgotten. It is the
non-conceptual recognition that there is no independent, separate
entity here; there is only consciousness. Life goes on as it always
has, but for no one.
Love and Intimate Relationships
Question: I've heard and read that our natural state of awareness can
also be called love. Can you expand upon this?
Stephen: The presence of awareness with the absence of 'me' is love.
Q: Is the absence of 'me' required for there to be love? Can't love be
experienced in personal, intimate relationships?
S: Love is the essence of all existence. Love is the natural state of
all being. All there is is love. Without love, nothing is. Love is not
personal. There is no 'my' love or 'your' love: there is just love.
Q: How is love experienced on a personal level in intimate
relationships? Surely, there must be a 'you' and a 'me' to know and
experience love!
S: When two are involved in a personal relationship there are times
when the sense of 'you' and 'me' (ego) falls away in each person. In
the absence of the sense of you and me there is love. This is the
sense of peace, joy, and blissful oneness for which we're all longing:
it's our natural state.
When the sense of ego rises again, the natural state of love is
personalized by the mind and claimed as a personal experience of the
ego. The two egos then assume that the other is the source of their
love. This, of course, leads to fear of loss, jealousy and a host of
other painful emotions.
Q: That makes sense, but I don't 'love' everyone. There is a special
sense of love I have for my partner. Aren't there different types of
love?
S: On a personal level, there are different types of relationships,
and there can be a special attraction between partners based on
biological and psychological compatibility. But there are not
different types of love or a special love. Love is the essence of all
being, it's absolute, unconditional, and impersonal.
Q: How will this recognition help me with my personal relationships?
S: Knowing yourself as pure awareness and not a separate ego, there is
the recognition that your essential nature is love. You are what you
have always been seeking. You don't need anyone or anything to fill
the sense of emptiness, loneliness, and separation that is the egoic
experience. The fear of loss, jealousy, and other painful emotions
that are the essence of egoic relationships fall away. You are able to
truly enjoy the beauty of all human relationships in complete freedom,
love, and peace.
~ Love is your natural state ~
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