Is not this Determinism?
Many people wonder why certain people are born at a certain time and why they are born into a specific family. Take Mozart for example, do you think that he just happened to be born in a musical family? Or is there some kind of plan that we follow and therefore always end up in the right place? Well, the universe from top to bottom, is a planned organization and thus all of us are born at exactly the right time, the right location and into the right families. Well now you say - is not this determinism? Certainly it is! However, there are many factors involved and we as Souls still make the final choices. In addition, we as Souls live the lifetime that was chosen by us. Now, let's find out how all this might work. Please remember, I am far from infallible, but I have only been wrong once and there is a slim chance that I am mistaken about that. Meanwhile, please do not believe anything I write about myself and/or the way things are in the universe. All I really know is that I know nothing! It is enough however - to let my imagination roam and roam...

Why do you keep doing this?
Time and Space do not really count in the universal scheme of things, so the past, the present and the future can be experienced all at the same time when we arrive on the other side. So by keeping that in mind we now project ourselves into another dream and see what's going on over there. Suppose, we look at life on earth as if it was a script or a book - the book has already been written naturally for we have been human for many and many millions of years. As a matter of fact, all of us have been back here so often, that if we'd realize it, we would be asking: how come I have to go back there again? Right, why do you keep doing this? Well, in the past, lets say 25,000 years ago, we altered the plan, and since that change, we are born without remembering our past lives...

Now... I say all this but who knows - is it all true?  Good question!  Anyway, whether what I say is true or not true does not really matter - Truth does not come in words. Truth is what we are!  All words are only temporary opinions...

Our past lives are not directly accessible...
So, for at least 25,000 years, we are born without any conscious recall. Before that, we could consciously remember our past lifetimes for our memory was still open to the past. That does not mean however, that our past lives are not accessible at the present. Sure they are, but in order to find out, we either have to be a perfect meditator or go and see a hypnotist and ask to be regressed to our past lives. The latter is easier naturally and many people do that nowadays. They try to resolve what bothering them in this life, by peeking into the last ones. Here and there they might find a cause or two...

This book is not a finished Book...
So, let's say that Life is like a book and all of us are about to read the chapters that are directly referring to ourselves and to the people we have associated with in the past and possibly will see again in the future. This book is not a finished book however and every lifetime we live, we write more notes between the lines. This book is mighty big by now, for it becomes thicker and thicker. A long time ago we reached the conclusion that life is an infinite affair for we cannot really find where we started. We also don't know exactly when we will be finished. The very present however is the most important, for that is the time we are alive and write between the lines of our book. So here we are, right smack in the middle of the present and we all scribble our marks in this big book. It's a diary of our infinite existence naturally and only a fool greater than I am would deny that. Fools like that are hard to find however...

I am doing the Living!
Before we start to write in this book, we should first of all go back to before we were born in this present body. So let's say, that before we are ready to come into the physical world, we look for a cozy spot in the spirit world and we ask for our special counselor with his Future Destiny Projector. So, we sit in our cozy spot and we switch on this Projector. It sees our future! We already have talked to our guides and teachers about this and we have decided that my next life should be a life of pondering reflections with enough time to write about them and try to share them. This naturally is an example that I pull out of my own spiritual hat, for I am the only one who can come up with an example of what goes on in the spirit that directly pertains to my future life. I am the only one who knows what I want and need. I am doing the living!

I am looking at the pictures of the holographic future realities...
So my destiny projector is rolling and slowly I adjust my eyes to the virtual reality of the holographic projections on my screen. All the pictures from this virtual reality projector are similar, but they are a lot sharper than the ones in your uncle's arcade. This projector projects in the future naturally, for it is connected to the very Source that contains all other virtual realities. So here I am, looking at the pictures of the holographic future realities that are created by the very thoughts of the Creator. In this case, little old me! Once again, I am going to be the representative of the Creator in the physical and will be born into the special envelope of Time and Space on Earth. I'll enter through one of the many invisible energy portals not even the FBI knows about. Anyway, I am busy watching who I will be, before I will enter the physical dream again. This is a very important decision for me. It is more important than buying a car for I'm selecting my future body...

Well holy mackrel - I see myself...
Here we are, here is The Netherlands and there is the place called Hoorn where on the end of December these parents are awaiting their first child. Well, it better be a boy for that is what I want to be. A boy born on Sunday as well as on Christmas. That's what I want! Loving parents and good surroundings. Lots of opportunities and not too much supervision, but still a lot of care. Especially in the beginning. Am I asking for too much? Anyway, I do the selecting and I need the best there is! I look at the future that is projected for me. Naturally I check out many of the characteristics of my parents to be, for aspects of my body-mind will be like theirs. Well holy mackrel - I see myself!

That's me over there.
The boy I see is about 12 years old, black hair, good looking, healthy and he is tall but his legs are a bit too short. He seems to be kind of shy. His parents are Roman Catholics and his aunt is doting on the boy something crazy. She loves him naturally. I keep looking at this destiny projector screen and the major aspects of this boy's life pass before my eyes in slow motion. Not too bad a choice, really. Both parents are loving people and my father's name is Gerrit Tros. A very short name with a hidden clue. It sure is an unusual name. The name means "bunch" in English. Look at that! That's me over there. I need to make a choice, well I really don't know yet. I first want to see some other choices...

You make me doubt myself that way!
I look at my Destiny Counselor and ask for another possible birth. He winks at me and says: well my Soul, it's up to you naturally, but if I were you, I would not forget about this one. I nod my head and he shows me a town in Russia. This boy is also slated be born on Christmas and the parents have two children already. The children play with home-made toys and the house they live in seems kind of small. The person I am going to be is extremely good looking and his body is powerful and full of vigor. Not a very good thinker though. Steady, but not bright. The next picture I see is that of a village in Denmark and this boy is as blond as they come and his father and mother are hard working people. Somehow, they pay little attention to their children. They seem to grow up by themselves. There are eight of them and I would be the seventh. Hmmm? I don't know. I hesitate a while and say to my counselor, the trouble with your Destiny System is, that you should not show me the best choice first. You make me doubt myself that way!

Destiny Counselors are very friendly and naturally they are very old Souls. They know just about anything about you and they make you feel at home like a two year with its Mother. There are thousands upon thousands of Destiny Counselors and somehow my Destiny Counselor is always smiling. I ask about this and the answers was that "Once in Joy always in Joy". It kind of stopped me cold, because I did not really know what that meant at that time. But now I do! It means that we know who or what we are! Ask around and you will find that very very few people know the answer to that one! Oh yeah, all Destiny Counselors are both masculine and feminine. Most of them are finished incarnating. Damn nice way to be if you ask me...

Do I really have free choice?
We chit-chat back and forth some more and then s/he laughs and says, you remember me from the last lifetime you chose - do you? I look up and say, yes I do, but at that time you showed me the best birth last. I got the idea that I was in command and took my pick. He smiles and says, what is it Soul that you really want to do? I ponder a bit and say, I need a life in which I can develop my mystical nature and at the same time can help others by writing about it. This old Soul looks at me and says, let me know what you want after you have discussed this with your Soul Group. Sure I say, I'll let you know. I wonder about all this. Is this counselor letting me pick my parents or am I hoodwinked into this? Do I really have free choice? I finally decide that I do have free will, for I am not only the little me. I am also: The Infinite Light! I say good bye to my Destiny Counselor and tell him that I will be back as soon as my friends and I've gone over this new life of mine. Sure, s/he says, I am always here...

Don't be late!
I float away, for Souls do not walk in the spirit world, and my friends and I have a discussion about my next life on earth. Why go to earth, says one of them. Why not go to Bronkles. Bronkles is easier anyway! No I say, I need earth, for I need the physical challenges of making a living as well as the opportunity to go within. I want to learn to touch my higher Consciousness from a dark place like earth. We discuss it a bit longer and then I decide upon the Dutch family (I forgot to look for the wooden shoes). Slowly, I think about my Destiny Counselor and we are together again. All right, s/he says, if you have made up your mind I will align and synchronize you with the body - don't be late! I look up and we laugh like hell. In my mind I go over this life again and I glance at the opportunity to leave Holland and go to Canada. I do not have to go. But somehow, it sure looks like a great adventure. Very slowly then, I go within myself and before I know what happened I am inside my mother's belly. It's warm in there and the fetus I am with is about three months old. I try to touch the human brain. It is still growing and not formed enough...

I didn't know I had a say in all this.
The human Body-Mind and the Soul Mind or Awareness are two different types of energies and they need to be matched carefully. It's a very touchy situation and some Souls just leave after being in the body for a while. The body needs to be personalized to suit the Soul. In a month or so, I try again and it feels strange to unite with this mind. After a few weeks I get used to it. I contemplate on all these genes I encounter and while I am busy thinking what I want to be, the genes I need slip into certain places. Funny thing really, I didn't know that I had a say in all this. Hmmm? Once in a while I take off and look around. Holland is mostly people, water, green grass and lots of roads. There are other souls floating around and I know that some of them will be my friends for a while. It rains a lot in Holland. There are beautiful old trees and some of the buildings are six hundred years old. For the last two month, before I'll be born, I stay with my body. My father is a bit nervous about my mother, he lost his first wife. My parents are very loving and affectionate. I love them all ready! I hear them speak and discuss things with my aunt. My aunt is not married and she lives with her brother, uncle Pauw. They have a little farm and I'll be visiting a lot...

I am a deep thinker and quite aloof.
More and more I feel at home with this new body and I am born on Christmas day. My name will be: Gerardus Everardus Tros. I selected it naturally, but my father thought that he did it all. Anyway, I grow up and do the best I can. I am very shy though and I'm feeling quite unsure of myself at this young age. Slowly I become an adult and marry. I am a person with free choices and my nature is what I wanted it to be. I am a deep thinker and quite aloof. I listen to music and play Chess a lot. I am learning more and more about humanity and my life is unfolding. Yes, I also immigrated to Canada. Mighty big over there and cold. I learn to write my thoughts down in English. I write a lot of poetry and all of it is beyond myself somehow. I find out pretty quick, that trying to help others is not that easy. They all have a mind full of opinions already and what I think I know is of little interest to them...

It's because of the fact that they are ready.
Anyway, I try and slowly more people see that my words make sense. This is not because of me however, it's because of the fact that they are ready! I just happen to be there. People have to learn to sift the lies from the truth. They need to learn discernment! Life is a lesson. My life has become easier lately for I have lost my seriousness. Yeah, that's an awful burden. I find that my life is what I have made of it. Mind you, I had to work hard to become what I wanted to be. It certainly did not fall out of the sky. It took a lot of effort and spiritual confidence. I had to be persistent and patient. I have become aware that I as a Human Being am an infinitely tiny aspect of an Infinite Force. Could I be that Force dreaming that I am Gerardus? Aha! No doubt this must be the case - wow! Anyway, I feel that this Force is the rest of what I am. I have to get to know my Rest so to speak. I have also become aware that there are other Souls like me who are directly connected to me. They must be other aspects of myself. Weird! Indeed I can say, that I had free choice in the matter of who I was going to be. I sure have learned a lot in this lifetime - especially about myself. I sometimes feel that I am the body and other times I feel that I am the Soul. We are really One! In the mean time, it is a miracle to be born...